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Storms are beautiful

Today’s anthem.

I thought that you were driving, but you’ve given me the wheel
There’s rain clouds out there, that you don’t wanna feel
Your anger’s like a razor blade, it’s just too bloody real
I thought that you would be here, no I just don’t get it
Hey I also feel things more than I should
I don’t relax very often, as often as I could
I worry how the whole thing looks, it doesn’t look good
But I thought that you would be here, no I just don’t get it
And being clear gets too much for me, just like it does for you
Even though I want to, I want to, I don’t

I don’t feel like calming down, no I don’t
I don’t feel like hiding out, so I won’t
I can’t turn the volume down, so I sit here in this
Chaos and piss, watching the storm passing
Storms are beautiful, right here it’s beautiful

I came all this way to be with you, and you’re already gone
If I was a good friend, I could write this wrong
I’d kick away your crutches, make you walk on your own
I really thought you’d be here, I just don’t get it
Though it looks warm in the rabbit hole, I could go down with you
Even though I want to, I want to, I won’t

I don’t feel like calming down, no I don’t
I don’t feel like hiding out, so I won’t
I can’t turn the volume down, so I sit here in this
Chaos and piss, watching the storm passing
It’s beautiful

I’m a willow tree, you can’t blow me over
And my roots go deep in anger
I wanna feel the wind as it whips me like a prisoner
I wanna be here
I wanna be here

No I don’t feel like calming down, no I don’t
I don’t feel like hiding out, so I won’t
I can’t turn the volume down, so I sit here in this
Chaos and piss, watching the storm passing
Storms are beautiful, this life is beautiful
It is

I need a vacation. I need a week alone at home with no obligations, no task list, no one to care for, no “must do” list.

I’m not going to get it. I’m out of vacation time, every bit I have is already dedicated to our families. I have huge piles of obligation at work, and I’ve traveled more than 35,000 miles in the first half of 2013. My little family needsĀ  me to hold my shit together, so I have to find a way to focus, to get through it, to get it done, to make it happen. And one way to do that would be to recharge in the evenings, but I can’t really do that, either; I’d love to go home and read a book while I soak in the bathtub, but instead I’m going to address wedding invitations, because that needs doing and there’s no way to delegate it to anyone else. Fuckin’ fantastic. It is what it is, and this is the life I have and the choices I’ve made.

But I don’t feel like calming down, and I can’t turn the volume down. So I’m trying to remember that life is beautiful.

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