insert emoticon here, The Tiniest Capen

Missives from the first trimester, Two

July 18, 2013

I woke up this morning, checked my calendar and my email, and thought, “Huh. I don’t feel shitty. That’s interesting. Maybe eating those chocolate chip cookies right before bed wasn’t indulgent, it was strategic.” Then I sat up. Oh. Well. There it is. I now live with a bag of Stacy’s pita crisps in my nightstand drawer. Woohoo simple carbs! And my morning routine now MUST include packing a lunch, and a morning snack, and an afternoon snack, because while it used to be good for me, it’s now essential to my survival. I want to eat all the things, and if I don’t I feel sick. Charming.

But I got up and did yoga for 20 minutes anyway, because it’s becoming increasingly clear that this is all going to hurt, a lot. My collagen is already defective, and my joints are already loose, so relaxin is going to do me no favors. I spent an hour with my bodywork chiropractor yesterday and he said “I’ve seen you tight, but nothing like this.” My entire right shoulder and arm were in spasm, from the scalenes in my neck down to my fingers. I’ve also nearly fallen three times in the last 24 hours alone — losing my balance, my foot not being stable, whatever. So that sucks, and reinforces the need for me to stay strong and active so that my body doesn’t tense into one giant muscle spasm in its attempts to hold my joints stable. Crunches and corework and lots of front-body stretching, that’s my new life… very similar to my old life except with more nausea.

I had my first doctor’s appointment on Monday, and met with the nurse in the practice because my OB is out on maternity leave. She’ll be back in 2 months. Okay. The nurse was great, very chill, very “you know we do this all the time, right? and mostly there are no crises?” which was great. I said “culturally, we tell women to be afraid of babies and pregnancy.” She said “And it’s dumb.”

Also, I would like a nap.


  1. H

    I’ve been thinking I should tell you – check out Gap maternity wear for work pants, and make your existing pants last a little longer by using a hair elastic. Loop the elastic through the buttonhole so it makes a tail, and then the tail over the button – it’ll give you another couple inches.

    As my friend Kathy says, go slow. The nausea should be better soon (I hope) and you’ll be less tired once your lungs and circ system have the chance to catch up. 🙂

  2. I love Summer Sanders’ Prenatal Workout from Gaiam. I don’t know about your underlying conditions, but this was comforting and allowed me to stay on top of the mood shifts and issues with weight gain and limited physical activity.


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