Time asleep before I was awoken: 4 hours? Maybe 5?
Time spent calmly talking about how it is nighttime and it is time for sleeping to a balls-to-the-wall hysterically screaming toddler who wanted daddy, a show, to sleep on the couch, Maggie, Daddy, and also another show: 45 minutes? An hour? An eternity? 57 eternities?
Time spent observing same toddler as she eats a bag of popcorn while staring off into space like a zombie: half an eternity.
Time spent adjusting the zombie toddler’s sleeping arrangements to her satisfaction: 2 eternities.
Time spent trying to remain calm and comfortable at the toddler’s bedside while she busily tries to stay awake in the face of zombie-level exhaustion: 7 eternities.
Time at which I finally was horizontal on a soft surface in a silent house: 4 am.
Two nights running. I can do hard things. I do hard things every day. So let’s do this hard thing. Thursday, watch the fuck out. I have eternities of practice patiently waiting out crazy.