#mightyifitkillsme, life list

Regardless of the utility of making new year’s resolutions, I always do. Mostly because it’s a time of change, and of rest, and of contemplation for me — between semesters, post holiday kookiness, a vacation. And so I resolve to fix the things that feel misplaced, unseated, or misaligned.

This year my resolve comes on two fronts.

We have to fix our finances. We live in a wobbly, uncertain place in which we spend too much on things we don’t value and we don’t know why and this is stupid. So that gets handled.

And I have to get healthy again, physically. I weighed in this morning at the highest weight of my entire life. I’m not feeling fit, I’m not feeling able, I’m not feeling strong, and I’m not happy about it. So that gets handled, too.

In both cases it’s not actually about “save money and lose weight”. In both cases it’s about being the person I want to be, living the kind of life I want to live, and creating a space of comfort, safety, and joy for myself. My physical self and my financial self are two of the voices presenting the most discord to my ideal. And so they’re getting reshaped. Realigned. Reimagined.